Just a little piece of the puzzle

I have been reading the book A New Earth. Yes, I jumped on the Oprah bandwagon and decided that it would be fun to be part of the biggest book club meeting ever! I have to admit, this is a hard read. I started the book and found that my mind was really wandering and had to start over. I am only to page 57 but something started to happening that I wanted to share with you.

The part of the book that I am at talks a lot about ego. How our ego is that little voice in our head that never seems to turn off. It causes us to over think things; spending time and energy trying to work through every situation. Eckhart Tolle gives us little exercises to do to just "be". This is the awareness of being a living thing. An awareness of being a life force. Heavy stuff.

So, I do the exercises. I focus on my hands....with my little voice in my head telling me how stupid this is. Never the less I just try to feel. Okay, I get the tingling in my hands and the voice in my head gets softer. How this is going to help me find my life purpose I have no idea, but I'm hanging in there.

When I get in the car, I put the top down. It is the first day that we have had glorious sun in so very long. My mind is completely quiet. I am just enjoying the feeling of the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. About 20 minutes later, it occurs to me that I was just "being". I was experiencing pure and complete bliss. I can't tell you how happy that made me feel.

As I was pulling into my neighborhood there was a couple walking and they stepped into the street just as I was making the turn. I just stopped and gave them a big smile. I mean, I feel great in this moment. Why not spread the feeling around. They both gave me big waves and smiles. It was an Ah Ha moment.

The positive energy that we create by "being" in our lives is actually just a little piece of the puzzle. Our positive energy flows to someone else and then their positive energy flows to someone else and then their positive energy flows to someone else. See how we can affect things on a greater level just by following our own bliss?

Plunging Necklines

I don't often write about specific products. If you read my blog very much you know that I spend a lot of time focusing on the inside and how it affects your appearance. That's why today's blog is quite a departure for me. I found something that you just have to know about.

I like necklines that are lower. I think that I look thinner when I show more chest. However, I am a pretty well endowed woman and have to be careful about how low the neckline goes because a bra just isn't optional. I have tried absolutely everything on the market for curvy girls who want plunging necklines and support. Absolutely nothing has worked to this point.

I have to confess that what I am about to tell you about wasn't even found by me. My husband saw this and brought it to my attention. Donna and I tease all the time that we have broken our husbands. They are way more in tune with how things fit a woman's body than any other man I have ever met! Anyway, here it is.

Dr. Rey's Shapewear Deep Plunge Bodysuit is available at Sears. It is very reasonbly priced and comes in black and nude. Here's the beauty of the item, though. It comes in sizes clear up to a 40DD. That means that full figure girls can get that sexy, plunge neckline with support! This is a first, girls.

There is a whole line of shapewear by Dr. Rey. He is the plastic surgeon from Dr. 90210 on the E Entertainment Network. Obviously he has spent a lot of time working with women's bodies. He knows their shape and how women feel about particular parts. He has done a good job of addressing those issues with his various shapewear pieces. You can see the entire line on his website.

This Keeps Coming Up

Since I started writing this blog I have said over and over that we have to be our own best friends, we have to love ourselves or we have to treat ourselves like we would the people in our lives. Everything that I write about is coming from experiences that I have recently had or conversations that I have been involved in or something in pop culture that triggers these thoughts. So, it isn't that I think I have to repeat myself to be heard. It is that the topic of being good to yourself is a common subject these days.

This time it came up in a conversation with a male friend of mine. A relationship that he was in recently ended. It ended badly and he was hurt. Over cocktails the other night he told me and my girlfriends about the situation. He was looking for some clarity...for some way to not hurt so bad. One of my girlfriends spent time working through what his exes actions meant in terms of communication. When they finished their conversation he said, "Yea, but what do I say if she calls?" Both of my girlfriends said, "She won't call." But, he said it again, "What if she does. I don't know what to say." I gave him my pearls of wisdom.

He called me yesterday and said that what really stuck with him was what I said. So here it is. I said to tell her that he loved her and cared deeply for her but that now it was time to love himself and take care of himself. That's it...don't say anymore. Get it out, get off the phone and then do it....take care of himself. He said that statement made him feel like it was possible to move on. What does this have to do with style?

As usual, I will say that the way you feel about yourself is reflected in how you look. Your opinion about yourself is the absolute first part of style. If you are hurt, rejected or abused in any way it will show in your demeanor and confidence; which then affects your appearance. The only....and I mean the only way to get back your confidence and beauty is to take care of yourself. Accept that whatever happened happened. It is what it is. Figure out what you need to start to heal and then do it!

A Man's Point of View

My husband copied me on an email that he sent to one of his associates today. It was just too good not to share with all of you. See, we are going on an annual award trip next week. We are there to help host the associates who have truly exceeded...busted....burned up goals over the past year. It is an honor to get to be with this extraordinary group.

Every year my husband is asked some question about appropriate attire. One year he had a manager ask if he really needed to wear a tuxedo. This was one of the first years...so when he told me what the question was I said, "Yes, a tuxedo should be worn...it is an opportunity for the spouses, partners or friends to get dressed up and the company actually provides a tux if necessary. This is when all of your peers get to applaud you for a job more than well done. This is not the time to be underdressed!" Since that year, my husband has been all over the appropriate dress subject.

So, as usual, a comment about attire came up today. One of his associates told another that I was into fashion so choose their dress with that in mind. The associate, in good humor, sent my husband an email telling him how excited she was and that she was putting a lot of thought into her dress. She didn't want me to judge it poorly. Here is what he wrote back:

"One correction on my wife, Gini. Fashion is her passion and her business, but she is never critical. She does say that this is your shinning moment, so FEEL good about yourself! Safe travels and see you there!"

How fabulous is that! He totally understands that if you feel good....you look good. It has taken some time, but if he can get it, everyone can get it. So, if you are one of those women who says to yourself all the time that you are not attractive, or have things to hide....stop it! When you feel good....you will look good.

My Bathing Suit Battle

The time has come that I will be traveling to a tropical destination with over 500 other people. Each year my husband's company has an award trip. The first year it was in Banff. I was overcome with joy. I can ski with the best of them and look good doing it. Every year since the trip has been to a warm weather destination.

Every year I get about 2 weeks out and panic about a bathing suit. It's not that I don't like water. I love the ocean....lying by the pool...even the water parks. I panic about the suit because I don't want to miss out on the fun because I am self conscious about the tiny piece of lycra that I am wearing. So, my husband, who is completely sympathetic, said let's go shopping yesterday. He totally gets that I don't want to do this, but will hate it if I want to go to the pool and am unprepared.

We head out to the mall. I don't care if I get a suit that costs $25 or $250 as long as it covers my bum and hold my boobs up where they belong (of course without being so tight that I have extra boobs under my arms). As we walk through Macy's I chastise myself for not ordering a Lori Coulter suit 2 months ago. I could have had a suit that was custom made for my body, in the color of my choice, and in the price range that I have set for this venture. But, alas, the denial that I have been saturated in cost me the time that it takes to get one of these delicious suits.

I finally end up buying 2 suits to take home and struggle into in the privacy of my locked bathroom. I put the first one on and it isn't half bad. It doesn't fit perfectly but it meets my two criteria...bum is covered...girls are mid way between my shoulders and elbows. I walk out and my husband says it is fabulous (gotta love this man). I don't leave the bathroom with the second suit.

Never-the-less, I am covered. I can lay by the pool or float down the lazy river and not feel like there are girl parts falling out all over the place. I remember the time that my husband and I played in the water park at the Grand Wailea in Hawaii all day. We laughed, we turned the wheel on the water elevator like crazy and we swung into the lagoon on a rope swing. There was also the time in Jamaica where we layed on rafts in the pool all afternoon, holding hands so we wouldn't drift apart, and talked like we hadn't in ages. I would have missed those moments if I had neglected to get a suit at all.

I bring this up because I don't know a woman who doesn't hate buying a bathing suit. Okay, there are the very young and supple or the genetically altered, but other than them....most of us hate bathing suits. As I go through the emotions of having to squeeze into one and show myself in public, my husband reminds me that the most beautiful he has ever seen me is when I laugh uncontrollably or relax completely and just succumb to life.

Live out loud, take all the opportunities and to hell with worrying about the tiny lycra!!

Live Like You Were Dying

Almost everyone that I know has heard the Tim McGraw song Live Like You Were Dying. If you haven't heard this song, I encourage you to watch the embedded video.

Most people don't have any idea when they will die. Would you even want to know? But, if you did, would you do things differently? I bring this up because it does have relevance to your personal style.

I'll get back to personal style in a minute. If you read my blog very often you know that I write more about your appearance and self confidence in terms of how you feel about yourself than I do about actual style tips. Every day something happens that guides what the blog will be about that day. Today I got an email from a good friend who works with a Midwest charitable organization. The video below was in her email. I encourage you to take 12 minutes and watch this video. It could very well change your life....or at least the way you live it!


I won't spend time commenting on this clip. It says everything that anyone needs to know about living. But, I do want to bring it back around to your personal style.

Every day I meet women who hate the way they look. They worry about what to wear (haven't we all been there) and what people think about them. Sometimes I meet women who are so concerned about how they look that they have forgotten to continue to live while they work on their appearance. This isn't actually all that unusual.

We've all said or heard another woman say that she will have a better life or be happy when...she loses weight, has plastic surgery, gets better clothes, gets a designer handbag. The list goes on and on. She may even be visibly unhappy...waiting for that magic thing that will change the way she feels.

Here is the hard lesson. There is no magic bullet. Nothing that you can buy (with possibly the exception of therapy) can make you a happy, confident person. Living your life, following your dreams and having fun are the things that will make you beautiful. Your personal style starts on the inside. All of the beautiful things in the world and all of the plastic surgery in the world can not make a woman beautiful on its own. She has to have a life that shines through first.

If you are in a place that feels hopeless or ugly, please take the time today to count your blessings, dream a little and give yourself a break. If you are in a good place, please take the time to count your blessings, dream a little and laugh out loud. That is where beauty begins.

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

How do you feel when you look in the mirror? Do your eyes immediately travel to what you think are your flaws? Do you ever look in the mirror and see you as a whole? The good...the great....the unique?

I find it interesting that we reduce ourselves to our parts. We look at our arms and wish that they didn't wiggle so much. We look at our tummies and remember when they were flat. And our breats! We wish they were bigger, firmer, smaller...whatever! But, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and said something like, "Hey, gorgeous, you look fabulous today!"

That's what each and every one of us should be doing. I love the song Stronger Woman by Jewel. She says in her lyrics:

I'm going to love myself
more than anyone else
Believe in me
even if someone can't see a
stronger woman in me
I'm gonna be my own best friend
stick with me to the end...

Women have a tendency to treat others better than they do themselves. We don't reduce others to parts.

We generally see a person as a whole. And, as we get to know and like them, we don't notice flaws. So, we know and hopefully like ourselves. What if today you give yourself a break? Be your own best friend. Tell yourself the great things that you like about you. Look in the mirror and say, "Girlfriend, you are having a spectacular hair day."

Try it on for size. Believe in you as a whole person today. Be the Stronger Woman!!